dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
