You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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