and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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