I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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