I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
