If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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