It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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