I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We are all done wearing pants today
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
