The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
