we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize