i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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