Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Randomize
