He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
