Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At least make sure they are 18
Why
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
