That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
