Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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