I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
