On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
