it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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