he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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