you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
