I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize