The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize