Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
