Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
