I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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