There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
