Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
