I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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