Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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