Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Success! We fucked roommates!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
