you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
