This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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