i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
