wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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