We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize