That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize