so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
