we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
