Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
