i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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