he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
