It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
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