obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
