p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize