My hair reeks of homosexuality.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
