oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Terrible idea I love it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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