just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize