Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize