I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
