we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
