no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
