If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
