Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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