on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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