Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
