First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
