At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
