There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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