Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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