I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize