I wish i was in the wii world.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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