pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
