We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
