I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
