everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
