Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
How does it feel to date your dad?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
